One Year!

Dear Jack,

You are ONE YEAR OLD today!!!

Jack, at one year, you are sweet, playful, observant, cautious, timid around strangers, and easily startled :)  You have the sweetest smile and the sweetest disposition.  Most people say that they've never seen you get loud or upset, however, they haven't seen you at home or at least in an environment you're really comfortable in.  And oddly enough, most people think you're a girl.  I guess it's because you are a very pretty baby, and you have the prettiest blue eyes :)

You love dogs, Disney Jr., your Baby Einstein CD's for the car, graham crackers, swinging at the park, and "riding" your Radio Flyer tricycle.   

We had your one year well-visit yesterday, and Dr. Levin said you were looking great - right on track!  You weigh 20 lbs. (10-25%), are 29 3/4" long (50%), and have a head circumference of 18 3/4" (90%)!  You are currently wearing 12-18 month size clothing and are still in size 4 disposable diapers.  We are still using the cloth diapers when we can and still love them! 

Most days you are still taking two naps a day, morning and afternoon, and you're still sleeping through the night pretty well.  You usually go to sleep around 7:30 pm and sleep until around 7:30 am!  You have been waking up crying around 3 or 4 am recently, but always seem to put yourself back to sleep eventually.

In the past month, it seems your appetite and taste for different foods has expanded - it now seems that you'll eat almost anything!  We still can't get you to drink whole milk, but Dr. Levin said that as long as you were getting dairy in other forms that it was okay.  You'll eat plain, whole-milk yogurt as long as its mixed in with something else like fruit - you love a good fruit and yogurt smoothie!  As it turns out, you have a little food allergy to cottage cheese.  Both times I've given it you, you've broken out into a rash, just where the cottage cheese came into contact with your skin.  You love sweet potatoes, apple juice, graham crackers, raisins, grapes, fruit smoothies, rice, and butternut squash.  Those are just a few that are guaranteed to get eaten every time!  

You are officially weened!  This big milestone comes with mixed emotions from Momma though.  I SO enjoyed nursing you for the first year of your life.  It was something that only you and I could share and provided such a wonderful bonding experience for the both of us.  Not to mention it was healthy, cheap, and convenient!    

You are still crawling everywhere and "cruising" some - no independent steps yet!  You will take small very hesitant steps behind a walker, but that's it.  You are such a curious little thing though, trying to open drawers and cabinet doors that I think it's only a matter of time before you get curious enough that you'll take those first steps by yourself.

I can't believe it's been one year already.        

Man, time is flying by.  Every now and again, I'll stop and try to remember what I was doing this time last year and how I was feeling . . .

*This was written a couple of weeks ago :)*

For starters, I was feeling BIG.  Nights were horrible, and I hardly slept at all.  I remember just laying there wishing that it would be morning soon, so I could get up!  I was so uncomfortable.  You were constantly moving and jabbing me in the rib cage, and if I think about it hard enough, I can still remember how those little jabs felt.  What a strange sensation that was to feel that little person moving inside of me.  Strange and yet, oh-so-sweet.  I miss those little jabs.

We were so ready to meet you.  I was so ready to see what you looked like, or WHO you looked like.  

I knew that my life would never be the same.

I knew that I had no idea how to change a diaper (probably my 2nd diaper to ever change was in the hospital after you were born).  I knew that we had gone to that Preparing for Parenthood class, but I had already forgotten a lot of what I had learned.  I knew that there were going to be some sleepless nights and some difficult days, and I knew that our days as a family of two were numbered.  I knew that we were about to add a third little person to our family, and that this little person what going to be completely helpless.  I knew that he was going to have to rely on us for all of his needs, and that scared me a little.  Was I going to be a good mom?  Was I going to know what to do and when to do it?

Fortunately for me, you are forgiving :)

The truth is, I didn't.  I didn't know.  But I learned, made some mistakes, and trusted my old motherly instincts (which don't always lead you in the right direction), and we are both alive today to tell about it.

I say all of this to say - what a wonderful journey this past year has been.  At times I've felt overwhelming joy and other times, frustration.  At times I've felt like super-mom and other times completely helpless.  I've known what to do in some situations and in others, I haven't.  And I imagine this doesn't stop at year one :)

What I knew then but didn't completely grasp the magnitude of is how much I would love you.  How I would never hear a horrible story on the news again without thinking, "What if that were Jack?".  How I would worry constantly about your safety, your well-being, and your health.  I was a worrier before, but I'm even more so now.  Becoming a mom made me think differently about everything!

They say a baby changes everything, but until you experience it for yourself, you really can't grasp the magnitude of that saying.

As I think back to Jack's birth story and October 29th of last year, I am flooded with so many wonderful memories and a heart full of thankfulness.  I'm thankful for a beautiful, healthy baby boy, and I'm thankful that God brought him into our lives.  

We love you so much, Jack Little.  Your first year of life has been the best year of our lives!

Happy Birthday, Baby Boy!!!