I had really hoped it wouldn't come to that, but it did.
More specifically, I had HOPED that I would wake up one morning, mmmm, let's say around 8, confused, slightly alarmed, but also incredibly rested, only to find out that Jack had slept through the night on his own! And I didn't have to do a THING!
Just to be clear, this never happened. I waited and waited and waited.
Month after month, just hoping . . . Maybe he just needs to be a little older . . . or maybe I should start pumping during the day, so I can get a big bottle for him to drink before bed . . . These were just a couple of the things I kept saying to myself in an effort to avoid what I thought was going to be a terrible night, week, month. I mean, who KNEW how long it was going to take if we decided to start letting him cry it out, and in my mind it was going to take a long time.
So finally , after nine and a half months of getting up at least once in the night, sometimes more than that, I knew I had to do something. The status quo was just not working anymore, and it didn't seem to me that he was getting any closer to sleeping through the night. I mean, why would he be? The idea of self-soothing was a foreign concept around here.
I finally realized that me rocking him to sleep before naps, at bedtime, and when he was waking up in the night was not doing him or myself any favors. The minute he would wake up in the night, he would panic, because A) I was there when he went to sleep and now I wasn't and B) he only knew going to sleep while being rocked or nursed, so going to sleep on his own was a strange, unfamiliar feeling. I knew that he would never learn to go to sleep on his own if I kept that up, and I also knew that the sooner I did something, the sooner I would get a full night's sleep too!
I read up (ie. read the brief synopsis on Babycenter) on the Ferber Method, and he describes one going to sleep on their own as a skill that must be learned. Duh. The more I thought about it, the more it made perfect sense. I had been allowing my baby to become sleep-deprived and dependent on me for comfort.
Aren't I his mother? Shouldn't I be doing what's best for him, even if it's tough? And isn't it best for him to be able to go to sleep on his own? And for him to be able to put himself BACK to sleep when he wakes up in the night, which can only be expected as we all wake up at some point in the night as part of a natural sleep cycle???
Reality check.
In my heart I was always doing the right thing by running in to comfort him when he would become upset or fussy, and in the beginning, it probably was. But not anymore.
So last Friday night, after a series of particularly awful nights (waking up crying every two or three hours), I decided it was time. I started with bedtime and rocked him for just a few seconds before laying him down sleepy and awake (this is Ferber's suggestion).
An immediate meltdown and an hour and a half of screaming ensued.
Followed by, fifteen minutes of silence, and then thirty more minutes of screaming.
And then, finally . . . . . . silence.
. . . .
I was so excited and proud of myself and him! He did wake up later that night crying and cried for about an hour, but then finally went back to sleep.
I should probably say that I did not just leave him by himself to cry for hours, as this is not what Ferber recommends, nor did I feel comfortable doing that anyway. And let me also say that I did not follow his method to a "T". My method was loosely based on his.
I would go in every 20 minutes or so to put the paci back in and comfort him (not pick him up!) and then leave. He would scream hysterically when I left the room, I would let him cry, and this was the cycle.
So that was Friday night. I continued doing the same thing with naps and then at bedtime both Saturday and Sunday nights. And BY GEORGE! He finally slept through the night! BOTH NIGHTS!!!
Can I just say, I'm not sure why it took me this long to do it. Yes, I do - I'm a big weenie. Even our pediatrician said so.
As an added bonus, he's had longer naps during the day as well! Yippee! Sleep begets sleep. This is a fact! I've now seen it first hand.
So the short of it is:
If you're reading this, and you're having the same problems, and you're not sure if you should do it . . . don't be a weenie.
Try it.
It's worth it.
It probably won't take as long as you think it will.
He won't remember it.
You're not a bad mother, you're actually a good mother.
And you and your baby will both benefit from it.
Month after month, just hoping . . . Maybe he just needs to be a little older . . . or maybe I should start pumping during the day, so I can get a big bottle for him to drink before bed . . . These were just a couple of the things I kept saying to myself in an effort to avoid what I thought was going to be a terrible night, week, month. I mean, who KNEW how long it was going to take if we decided to start letting him cry it out, and in my mind it was going to take a long time.
So finally , after nine and a half months of getting up at least once in the night, sometimes more than that, I knew I had to do something. The status quo was just not working anymore, and it didn't seem to me that he was getting any closer to sleeping through the night. I mean, why would he be? The idea of self-soothing was a foreign concept around here.
I finally realized that me rocking him to sleep before naps, at bedtime, and when he was waking up in the night was not doing him or myself any favors. The minute he would wake up in the night, he would panic, because A) I was there when he went to sleep and now I wasn't and B) he only knew going to sleep while being rocked or nursed, so going to sleep on his own was a strange, unfamiliar feeling. I knew that he would never learn to go to sleep on his own if I kept that up, and I also knew that the sooner I did something, the sooner I would get a full night's sleep too!
I read up (ie. read the brief synopsis on Babycenter) on the Ferber Method, and he describes one going to sleep on their own as a skill that must be learned. Duh. The more I thought about it, the more it made perfect sense. I had been allowing my baby to become sleep-deprived and dependent on me for comfort.
Aren't I his mother? Shouldn't I be doing what's best for him, even if it's tough? And isn't it best for him to be able to go to sleep on his own? And for him to be able to put himself BACK to sleep when he wakes up in the night, which can only be expected as we all wake up at some point in the night as part of a natural sleep cycle???
Reality check.
In my heart I was always doing the right thing by running in to comfort him when he would become upset or fussy, and in the beginning, it probably was. But not anymore.
So last Friday night, after a series of particularly awful nights (waking up crying every two or three hours), I decided it was time. I started with bedtime and rocked him for just a few seconds before laying him down sleepy and awake (this is Ferber's suggestion).
An immediate meltdown and an hour and a half of screaming ensued.
Followed by, fifteen minutes of silence, and then thirty more minutes of screaming.
And then, finally . . . . . . silence.
. . . .
I was so excited and proud of myself and him! He did wake up later that night crying and cried for about an hour, but then finally went back to sleep.
I should probably say that I did not just leave him by himself to cry for hours, as this is not what Ferber recommends, nor did I feel comfortable doing that anyway. And let me also say that I did not follow his method to a "T". My method was loosely based on his.
I would go in every 20 minutes or so to put the paci back in and comfort him (not pick him up!) and then leave. He would scream hysterically when I left the room, I would let him cry, and this was the cycle.
So that was Friday night. I continued doing the same thing with naps and then at bedtime both Saturday and Sunday nights. And BY GEORGE! He finally slept through the night! BOTH NIGHTS!!!
Can I just say, I'm not sure why it took me this long to do it. Yes, I do - I'm a big weenie. Even our pediatrician said so.
As an added bonus, he's had longer naps during the day as well! Yippee! Sleep begets sleep. This is a fact! I've now seen it first hand.
So the short of it is:
If you're reading this, and you're having the same problems, and you're not sure if you should do it . . . don't be a weenie.
Try it.
It's worth it.
It probably won't take as long as you think it will.
He won't remember it.
You're not a bad mother, you're actually a good mother.
And you and your baby will both benefit from it.
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